Let's do this thing...today

I don't want to delete thoughts I jot down. If I am embarrassed or bothered by something I write that just means they are thoughts I truly needed to rid myself of. This will never be fancy. If it is like anything else I have ever tried to do, it won't last. That being said, for the time being, I wanted a place to write out my thoughts, and hand writing them is exhausting, let's be honest.

Do I necessarily hope to get anything out of this? Kind of. What I really want is once I write out the thoughts they won't sit in my mind burdening me from time to time at the most inconvenient and inappropriate times. Here's to hoping.

Today is the last day of summer before school starts for my kids. I have kids. That should be noted. I had these intentions of having a big day of celebrating and doing all things summer. Their only real request was to get a giant shaved ice. I was up the night before, anticipating I wasn't going to get much sleep, as my mind was going on loop with the same weird ideas, thoughts and to do lists I need to accomplish when I find the energy again someday. Around 3 am last night (this morning?) I knew I would be too tired for the fun day I wanted to create for the kids to have. This of course, made me spiral with guilt, and because I was already so tired, got emotional. I cried, got anxious and that caused a headache. As I do.

I ran the errands with them that needed to get done before we could get fun things started. Once I had those items checked off, you better believe I ran out of steam. I got haircuts, and back to school shopping done, uniforms purchased and they are ready to go. We got home, did some housekeeping and fell asleep for a power nap before needing to take my daughter to get her nails done. Middle school is wild guys! 

Next thing I know, it is nearly 9pm and they are getting ready for bed and I can honestly say the most "fun" thing we did was eat sandwiches with dutch crunch bread. The day got away from me. They are brushing their teeth, showered and in pajamas. They didn't get their shaved ice. 

shoot.